Thursday 7 September 2017

The Wardrobe - Review


Recently I got curious about all the games that had been released in 2017 (big & small) & wanted to see had I missed any potential gems.  Lucky enough GameSpot had created a fairly comprehensive list, I went through them all, I checked trailers & gameplay & from it made my own list of games that I wanted to play.  One of them was a PC game called The Wardrobe, it seemed kind of quirky so I thought why not.


Any one ever had one of those giant gobstoppers?  They are so big you cant actually fit them in your mouth, they are almost the size of a tennis ball.  When I was kid I remember seeing them in Woolworths for £1, they were colourful, would last for hours & looked like fun.  So I bought it, tried it & got quickly frustrated with it.  It felt like it would never be small enough to fit in my mouth, so I tried to force it & split the inside of my mouth (all of you with dirty minds keep quiet).  Little to say shortly afterwards it went into the bin & I nursed my sore mouth.  Playing The Wardrobe I had to ask myself was it colourful & lots of fun or a giant pain that I wanted to throw in the bin?




The story is strange & unusual, but I am not exactly averse to stories like that. The game starts with Skinny (you) & your friend Ronald having a picnic.  During the picnic you get handed a plum & it ends up killing you due an allergic reaction.  Ronald decides to run away & not try to help you at all (some friend, how did he know you were dead?).  Skinny comes back to life, sort of, as a skeleton.  But why you ask?  To save you friends soul, if he does not admit to someone what happened (even though it was an accident) within five years of the incident he will die & lose his soul.


The characters in the game are not very likable, even the ones that are supposed to be. Skinny is basically an obnoxious kid with some funny lines.  Ronald is basically a blank slate. The hippie stoner character wore thin really quick, I am not sure if it was his voice or simply the dull dialogue but I was not amused or entertained by him.


That is pretty much the whole story, I found it to be a little flimsy & like I said earlier strange & unusual is fine but if you going to do it maybe add a few extra layers to the story pack it out a bit or have some likable characters.  Overall the story is meh & the ending is no more fulfilling.


The visuals are the big draw of the game, they are fun quirky & remind me of those old jigsaw puzzles I used to see when I was a kid with lots of crazy stuff going on in the background.  There are literally tons of pop culture references, the picture above is a great example of what I mean.


The art work is all hand drawn which I really liked & made it stand out from many other games released this year.  Overall I felt the visuals were well done & for me is what really stood out about this game.


I have to admit guys this is a first, I will not be doing a review on the soundtrack.  While the music in the game is not great & a lot of pieces seem to be on a constant loop that is not the reason for not reviewing it.  For the first time ever I was simply unable to find anywhere I could listen to the soundtrack.  Don't know why it is not available but as they say 'it is what it is'.


Onto the meat..kind of.  The game is created by  C.I.N.I.C Games, it draws from 90's classics point & click adventures such as; Monkey Island, Day of the Tentacle, Sam & Max: Hit the Road & Tony Tough.  Okay I am just going to jump right in, the puzzles are for the most ridiculous.  I am going to give you an example & see what you think.  There is dust monster who wants to take over the world, he tells you this & that's it. From this you are supposed to work out that you need to steal a tankard, fill it with sewer water, add pills to it & feed to the dust monster.  This makes him strong & he can now remove a bed knob, naturally you have to take it, use a blow torch on it to remove the wood & be left with the screw.  Which you then add to a drill to help out a gangster alligator with a toothache.  The fuck?  Really how does that even follow any kind of logic?  No hints or indication is given to almost any of this.  There are many puzzles in the game just like this & it really sucks.


While the pop culture references have a certain appeal, it feels like someone has just engorged themselves on it & the puked it up everywhere.  There is an overload of stuff that it ends up losing its overall intended appeal.


If the gameplay was the meat & that was your dinner you would go hungry.



Being honest after 8 hours or so I felt underwhelmed, I wanted to like it I really did but by the end I was just glad it was over.  The story wasn't great, gameplay was bad & music was meh, the only solid thing about the game were the visuals & even they had weak spots.  I am sorry to say I am giving this one 1 out of 5

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